Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Randomize
