there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Randomize
