how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize