well you can't waste a boner
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
