I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
