I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
It's blow job season.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
