i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
me + whiskey = a bad person
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
