i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
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