I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Randomize
