So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
