Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
