AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Randomize
