One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
this hospital has no fireball
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
