I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
