She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
