3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Randomize
