**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
