wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
