Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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