Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
not ubering you a puppy
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
