i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
