nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
