my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Randomize
