My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
