Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
he puked in his toast at dennys. after snoopdogg high fived him. couldn't be prouder to be his bro in law.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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