I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
