There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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