google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
