yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
