I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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