i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
She even gives head with a lisp.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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