Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Randomize
