I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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