belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
