walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I need water and some morals
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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