Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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