there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
