operation harelip BJ is a go
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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