Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
Randomize
