that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
Randomize
