You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
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