chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Randomize
