brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Every concussion has its silver lining
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
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