I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
