it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
either way he was missing a nipple.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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