i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
