hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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