Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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