is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
