Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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