I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
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