roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
