idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
