The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Randomize
