dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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